Confessions of a Thug Read online

  CHAPTER XXIX.

  We reached Jubbulpoor without another adventure of any kind, andrested there for two days. Peer Khan, Motee, and myself perambulatedthe bazars during the whole time, but not a traveller could we meetwith, nor could we learn that any were expected; it was therefore of nouse to remain, and as we had still plenty of time before us, we couldtravel as leisurely as we pleased: so on the third morning we againproceeded. The country between Jubbulpoor and Nagpoor is a wild waste.Villages are not met with for miles and miles, the road is stony anduneven, and the jungle thick and dangerous for nearly the whole way.On this account the tract has always been a favourite resort of Thugs,and more affairs have come off in those few marches than perhaps in anyother part of the country frequented by us. We were all regretting thatwe had not met with some bunij at Jubbulpoor, wherewith to beguile theweariness of the road, when, at our second stage, soon after we hadarrived, Motee, who had gone to look out for work for us, returned withthe glad news that there was a palankeen at the door of a merchant'sshop, surrounded by bearers and a few soldiers, which looked very muchas if it belonged to a traveller.

  "But he must be of rank," said Motee, "therefore I humbly suggest thatyou, Meer Sahib, should undertake to see who he is, and to secure him,if possible."

  I followed his advice, and changing my travelling attire for a dresswhich would ensure my civil reception, I armed myself, and, attended bya Thug, who carried my hooka, I sauntered into the village. I soon sawthe palankeen and men about it; and in order to gain some intelligenceto guide me, I went to a Tumbolee's shop directly opposite to it, andsitting down, entered into conversation with the vendor of tobacco andpan.

  "This a wild country you live in, my friend," said I.

  "Yes, it is, indeed, as you say," he replied; "and were it not for youtravellers, a poor man would have little chance of filling his belly byselling pan and tobacco, but, as it is, my trade thrives well."

  "There do not seem to be many on the road," said I; "I have come fromJubbulpoor without meeting a soul."

  "Why, the roads are hardly much frequented yet," he rejoined, "but in amonth more there will be hundreds; and there," he continued, pointingto the house over the way, "there is almost the only one I have seenfor some time."

  "Who is it?" I asked, "and where has he come from? he was not with us."

  "I know not," replied the Tumbolee, "nor do I care; whoever he is, hehas bought a quantity of my stuff, and it was the first silver whichcrossed my hands this morning."

  I saw there was nothing to be got out of this man, so I went toa Bunnea, a little further off, and, after a few preparatory andindifferent questions, asked him whether he knew aught of thetraveller; but he knew nothing either, except that a slave-girl hadbought some flour of him. "They say," said he "that it is a gentlemanof rank who is travelling privately, and does not wish to be known; atany rate, Sahib, I know nothing about him; I suppose, however, he willcome out in a short time." This is very strange, thought I; here is agay palankeen, eight bearers and some soldiers with it, come into thiswretched place, and yet no one's curiosity is aroused; who can it be? Iwill return to the Tumbolee, and sit awhile; I may see, though I cannothear anything of this mysterious person.

  I sat down at the shop, and calling to my attendant for my hooka,remained there smoking, in the hope that some one might appear frombehind the cloths which were stretched across the verandah; nor did Istay long in vain--I saw them gently move once or twice, and thought Icould perceive the sparkle of a brilliant eye directed to me. I rivetedmy gaze on the envious purdah, and after along interval it was quicklyopened, and afforded me a transient momentary view of a face radiantwith beauty; but it was as instantly closed again, and I was left invain conjecture as to the beautiful, but mysterious, person who hadthus partially discovered herself to me. It would not have suited mypurpose to have personally interrogated any of the bearers, who werelying and sitting about the palankeen, as it would have rendered themsuspicious, and would have been impertinent: after all, it was only awoman--what had I to do with women now? And had I not made an inwardresolution never to seek them as bunij--nay, even to avoid parties inwhich there might be any? So I arose, and took my way to our camp,firmly resolving that I would pursue my march the next morning; for,thought I, she must be some lady of rank travelling to her lord, andAlla forbid that I should raise a hand against one so defenceless andunprotected; and I thought of my own lovely Azima, and shuddered atthe idea of her ever being placed within reach of other members of myprofession, who might not be so scrupulous as I was.

  But, Sahib, the resolves of men--what are they?--passing thoughts,which fain would excite the mind to good, only to be driven away by thewild and overpowering influences of passion. Despite of my resolve,my mind was unquiet, and a thousand times fancy brought to my viewthe look she had cast on me, and whispered that it was one of love. Icould not shake it off, and sought in the conversation of my associateswherewith to drive her from my thoughts; but it was in vain--thatpassionate glance was before me, and the beauteous eyes which threw itseemed to ask for another, a nearer and more loving.

  In this state I passed the day, now determining that I would resist thetemptation which was gnawing at my heart, and now almost on the pointof once more proceeding to the village and seeking out the unknownobject of my disquietude; and I was irresolute, when towards evening Isaw a slave-girl making towards the camp, and I went to meet her, butnot with the intention of speaking to her, should she prove to be onlya village girl. We met, and I passed her; but I saw instantly that shewas in search of some one, for she turned round hesitatingly and spoketo me. "Forgive my boldness, Sahib," said she, "but I am in search ofsome one, and your appearance tells me that it must be you."

  "Speak," said I; "if I can aid you in anything, command me."

  "I know not," she replied, "whether you are he or not; but tell me, didyou sit at the Tumbolee's shop this morning for some time, smoking ahooka?"

  "I did, my pretty maiden," said I; "and what of that? there is nothingso unusual in it as to attract attention."

  "Ah, no!" said the girl archly; "but one saw you who wishes to see youagain; and if you will now follow me, I will guide you."

  "And who may this person be?" I asked; "and what can be his or herbusiness with a traveller?"

  "Your first question I may not answer," said the girl; "and as to thesecond, I am ignorant; but, by your soul, follow me, for the matter isurgent; and I have most express commands to bring you if I possiblycan."

  "I follow you," said I; "lead on."

  "Then keep behind me at some distance," she said; "and when you see meenter the house, step boldly in after me, as if you were the master."

  I followed her. But ah! Sahib, observe the power of destiny. I mighthave sat in my tent, and denied myself to the girl, who, something toldme, had come to seek me when I first saw her approach. I might, when Idid advance to meet her, have passed on indifferently; and, even whenshe spoke to me, I might have denied that I was the person she was sentafter, or I might have refused to accompany her; but destiny impelledme on, nay, it led me by the nose after a slave-girl, to plunge into anadventure I fain would have avoided, and which my heart told me mustend miserably. Sahib, there is no opposing Fate; by the meanest endsit works out the greatest deeds, and we are its slaves, body and soul,blindly to do as its will works! I say not Thugs only, but the wholehuman race. Is it not so?

  It appears to me, Ameer Ali, said I, that poor Destiny has the blamewhenever your own wicked hearts fixed themselves on any object and youfollowed their suggestions.

  Nay, but I would have avoided this, cried the Thug; and have I not toldyou so? Alla knows I would not have entered into this matter; but whatcould I do? what were my weak resolves compared with his will! and yetyou will not believe me. Sahib, I do not tell a lie.

  I dare say not, said I; but the beautiful eyes were too much for you;so go on with your story.

  The Thug laughed. They were indeed, said he, and accursed be the
hourin which I saw them. But I will proceed.

  The slave preceded me; at some distance I followed her through thevillage and its bazars, and saw her enter the house before which I hadsat in the morning. I too entered it, leaving my slippers at the door,and with the confident air of a man who goes into his own house. I hadjust passed the threshold, when the slave stopped me.

  "Wait a moment," said she; "I go to announce you;" and she pulled asidethe temporary screen and went in.

  In a few moments she returned, and bade me follow her. I obeyed her,and in the next instant was in the presence of the unknown, who washidden from my sight by an envious sheet, which covered the whole ofher person, and her face was turned away from me towards the wall.

  "Lady," said I, "your slave is come; and aught that he can do for oneso lovely he will perform to the utmost of his power. Speak! yourcommands are on my head and eyes."

  "Byto," she said in a low, timid voice. "I have somewhat to ask thee."

  I obeyed, and seated myself at a respectful distance from her on thecarpet. "You will think me bold and shameless, I fear, stranger," saidshe, "for thus admitting you to my presence, nay even to my chamber;but, alas! I am a widow, and need the protection you are able perhapsto afford me. Which way do you travel?"

  "Towards Nagpoor," I replied; "I purpose leaving this miserable placeearly to-morrow, and I have come from Jubbulpoor."

  "From whence I have also come," she said, "and I am going too toNagpoor. Ah, my destiny is good which has sent me one who will protectthe lonely and friendless widow!"

  "It is strange, lady," said I, "that we did not meet before, havingcome the same road."

  "No," she replied, "it is not, since I was behind you. I heard you werebefore me, and I travelled fast to overtake you. We have now met, andas I must proceed the remainder of my journey alone, I implore you toallow me for the stage to join your party, with which, as I hear it isa large one, I shall be safe, and free from anxiety."

  "Your wish is granted, lady," I said; "and any protection against thedangers of the way which your poor slave can afford shall be cheerfullygiven. I will send a man early to awaken you, and promise that I willnot leave the village without you."

  She salamed to me gracefully, and in doing so the sheet, as if byaccident, partly fell from her face, and disclosed again to myenraptured view the features I had beheld from a distance. Sahib,the shock was overpowering, and every nerve in my body tingled; onlythat a sense of decency restrained me, I had risen and thrown myselfat her feet; but while a blush, as though of shame, mantled over hercountenance, and she hastily withdrew the glance she had for an instantfixed on me, she replaced the sheet and again turned to the wall,bending her head towards the ground. I thought it had been purelyaccidental, and the action at the time convinced me that she was reallywhat she represented herself to be; and fearing that my longer presencewould not be agreeable or decent, I asked her if she had any furthercommands and for permission to depart.

  "No," said she, "I have no further favour to beg, save to know the nameof him to whom I am indebted for this act of kindness."

  "My name is Ameer Ali," said I; "a poor syud of Hindostan."

  "Your fluent speech assured me you were of that noble race; I could notbe mistaken,--'tis seldom one hears it. Fazil! bring the pan and utr."She did so, and after taking the complimentary gift of dismissal, andanointing my breast and beard with the fragrant utr, I rose and made myobeisance. She saluted me in return, and again bade me not forget mypromise. I assured her that she might depend upon me, and departed.

  She must be what she says, thought I; the very act of presenting panand utr to me proves her rank; no common person, no courtesan wouldhave thought of it. I shall only have to bear a little jeering fromMotee and Peer Khan, which I will resist and laugh away; and this poorwidow will reach Nagpoor in safety, without knowing that she has beenin the hands of murderers. But I said nothing that night to any ofthem. In reply to their numerous questions as to the fortune I had metwith in the village, and whether I had discovered the unknown, I onlylaughed, and said I believed it was some dancing-girl, for I knew themention of one would turn their minds from the thoughts of bunij, as itis forbidden to kill those persons by the laws of our profession; andwith my supposition they appeared satisfied. Great, however, was theirsurprise when in the morning, after having delayed our departure longerthan usual, I joined the party of the lady outside the village andthey understood that we were to travel in company. I was overpoweredby jokes and witticisms from Peer Khan and Motee, who declared I wasa sly dog thus to secure the lady all to myself; and after protestingvehemently that I cared not about her, which only made them laugh themore, I became half angry.

  "Look you, my friends," said I, "this is a matter which has been in amanner forced upon me. Who the lady is I know not. She has begged ofme to allow her to accompany us, as she supposes us to be travellers,and I have permitted it; and whether she be old or young, ugly orbeautiful, I am alike ignorant. We may hereafter find out her history;but, whoever she be, she has my promise of safe escort, and she is notbunij. You remember my resolution, and you will see I can keep it."

  "Nay," said Motee, "be not angry; if a friend is not privileged tocrack a joke now and then, who, in Bhugwan's name, is? And as for us,we are your servants, and bound to obey you by our oath; so you mayhave as many women in your train as you please, and not one shall bebunij."

  So we pursued our road. Several times I could not resist riding up tothe palankeen and making my noble horse curvet and prance beside it.The doors were at first closely shut, but one was gradually opened, andthe same sparkling eyes threw me many a smiling and approving look,though the face was still hidden.

  Alas! Sahib, those eyes did me great mischief--I could not withstandthem. About noon, when we had rested from our fatigue, and my men weredispersed in various directions, scarcely any of them remaining inthe camp, the slave-girl again came for me, and I followed her to hermistress. We sat a long time in silence, and the lady was muffled upas I had before seen her. Despite of all my conflicting feelings, Iown, Sahib, that in her presence my home was forgotten, and my burningdesire was fixed upon the veiled being before me, of whose countenanceI was even still ignorant.

  She spake at last, but it was to the slave. "Go," said she, "and waitwithout, far out of hearing; I have that to say to this gentleman whichmust not enter even your ears, my Fazil."

  She departed, and I was alone with the other, and again there was along, and to me a painful, silence. "Meer Sahib," she said, at length,"what will you think of me? what will you think of one who thus exposesherself to the gaze of a man and a stranger? But it matters not now: ithas been done, and it is idle to think on the past. I am the widow of anuwab, whose estate is near Agra; he died a short time ago at Nagpoor,on his way from Hyderabad, whither he had gone to see his brother, andI was left friendless, but not destitute. He had abundance of wealthwith him, and I was thus enabled to live at Nagpoor, after sending newsof his death to my estate, in comfort and affluence. The messengers Isent at length returned, and brought me the welcome news that therewas no one to dispute my right to my husband's property; and that myown family, which is as noble and as powerful as his was, had takenpossession of the estate and held it on my account; and they wrote tome to return as quickly as I could, and among the respectable men ofthe land choose a new husband, by whom I might have children to inheritthe estate. I immediately set off on my return--ah! Ameer Ali, how canI tell the rest! my tongue from shame cleaves to the roof of my mouth,and my lips refuse utterance to the words which are at my heart."

  "Speak, lady," said I; "by your soul, speak! I burn with impatience,and you have excited my curiosity now too powerfully for it to restunsatisfied."

  "Then I must speak," she said, "though I die of shame in the effort.I heard at the last village that you had arrived; I say you, becausemy faithful slave, who finds out everything, came, shortly after yourarrival, and told me that she had seen the most beautiful cavalierher thoughts h
ad ever pictured to her. She recounted your noble air,the beauty of your person, the grace with which you managed yourfiery steed, and above all the sweet and amiable expression of yourcountenance. The account inflamed me. I had married an old man, whowas jealous of my person, and who never allowed me to see any one butmy poor slave; but I had heard of manly beauty, and I longed for thetime when his death should free me from this hated thraldom. Long Ideliberated between the uncontrollable desire which possessed me and asense of shame and womanly dignity; and perhaps the latter might haveconquered, but you came and sat opposite to the hovel in which I wasresting; my slave told me you were there, and I looked. Alla! Alla!once my eyes had fixed themselves on you, I could not withdraw them;and, as the hole through which I gazed did not afford me a full viewof your person, I partially opened the curtain and feasted my soulwith your appearance. You went away, and I fell back on my carpet indespair. My slave at last restored me to consciousness, but I ravedabout you; and fearful that my senses would leave me, she went andbrought you. When you entered, how I longed to throw myself at yourfeet! But shame prevailed, and, after a commonplace conversation,though my soul was on fire and my liver had turned into water, Isuffered you to depart. I told my people that I must return to Nagpoor,as I had forgotten to redeem some jewels I had left in pledge, whichwere valuable; and they believed me. Ameer Ali!" cried she, suddenlythrowing off her veil and casting herself at my feet, while she buriedher head in my lap; "Ameer Ali! this is my tale of shame--I love you!Alla only knows how my soul burns for you! I will be your slave forever; whither you go, thither will I follow; whoever you are, andwhatever you are, I am yours, and yours only; but I shall die withoutyou. Alas! why did you come to me?"